How do I decide if my date is right for me?

After nine months of dating, I recently created this golden triangle of what I am looking for:

Golden Triangle

I discussed with some clients which of these they would be willing to give up. We all found it impossible to choose, so I concluded that they were all essential.

(Actually, four days after I created it, I met someone online who quickly showed that he fulfilled all three components!)

Yours might be different – and it might be a square, pentagon, hexagon …. But can you come up your own essentials?

You might want to consider these three components in psychology:

3 components

If you want examples, use this figure below ….

3 components with examples

(Mine doesn’t include practical essentials like, for me, non-smoking, age, height, lives in the same city, is single.)

More questions to ask yourself as you continue to date:

  • Does this person bring out the best in me?
  • Can I be myself with them?
  • Do I respect them?
  • Do they communicate with me in between dates in the way that I’d like them to?
  • Are they emotionally responsive?*
  • Do we feel at ease with each other’s sense of humour?
  • Would I feel comfortable and proud introducing my date to my family?

You won’t be able to answer these until you’ve had about 6-10 dates, so don’t write off a date too early! It takes time to get used to someone new and different, and you’ll be learning a lot during that time for future dating even if it doesn’t work out.

*More about this in a future post …..

Do comment or email me if you have other suggestions for good questions! And sign up below for alerts to new blog posts!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s